wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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