there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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