After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
