your thong is hanging out like whoa
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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