Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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