I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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