oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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