After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
