Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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