what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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