Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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