I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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