all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
