I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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