guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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