that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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