smell my finger.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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