I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
