i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
