is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
