I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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