i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
