He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize