So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
