he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
