Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
high people should be assigned attendants
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
