You're earring is so big in my mouth
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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