literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
