We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
