Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
