you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
