We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
