I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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