Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize