Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
