Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
