so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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