he thought i was a dude.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize