Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
