didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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