Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
