jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
