In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
