you guys were way drunker than both of me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
