Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
