i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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