They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
