She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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