There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
