On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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