What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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