new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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