Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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