Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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