I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
