ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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