I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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