Umm I'm too high to move.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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