If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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