My hand turned me down
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize