How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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