sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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