Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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