youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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